| EATING
DISORDER PREVENTION
FIVE COMMENTS PARENTS SHOULD NEVER MAKE
(to
help prevent eating disorders)
From U.S. News & World Report
Sept 10, 2007
www.usnews.com
Lisa is adding that it's not
just parents. It's grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and
parents friends too.
Teens who overcame anorexia consider
how they might have avoided it.
Even gentle and well-meant comments
about kids' weight can have an unintended downside: an increased
likelihood that they'll turn to dangerous dieting behaviors.
US News recently sat down with five teens who were treated for
anorexia at the Emily Program, a private eating disorders facility
in Minneapolis-St Paul, to find out what sent their weight plunging.
Their moms sat in, too. Here are some of the comments the girls
wish they'd never heard.
1. YOU'RE BIG BONED COMPARED
TO YOUR SISTER
Even offhand comparisons can cause a harmful overreaction. "I'd
overhear my mom saying to her friends, "Katie's the bigger
one," recalls KM, a 19 year old whose shame contributed
to her weight falling below 95 pounds during her sophomore year
of high school. Although there's no way to protect children
from every hurtful comment, parents can certainly avoid remarking
on a child's weight-and insist that siblings do, too. Research
has shown that kids who are more teased are more prone to binge
eating and other eating disorders.
2. MAYBE THIS NEW DIET WILL HELP
"I'm always hearing about how bad food is," says LH,
18. "I would have liked to have learned about the positives
of food, like why I need some fat to build cells and what fruits
and vegetables do for my body." KM recently had a roommate
whose mother sent her diet products and then complained on visits
that her daughter hadn't lost enough weight. "I couldn't
stick around for those conversations," she says.
3. I HATED MY BODY, TOO, WHEN
I WAS YOUR AGE
With the best of intentions, ND shard the insecurities she's
had as a teen with her daughter H, now 16, when H was going
thru puberty. "I told her that I'd always been really thin
but then started hating my body when I developed curves. I wanted
to be really open about it incase she was feeling the same way,"
her mother explains. Her daughter though, took it as a cue for
how she should feel about her own developing body-especially
since her mother was still uncomfortable with her weight. "She
would tell me not to focus on my body image but then she'd talk
about how she hated her body all the time," says H. "Now
I think it’s best if my mom never talks about these things with
me."
4. YOU'RE SUCH A TALENTED ATHLETE;
LET'S CRANK IT UP A NOTCH.
E's mom who recognized running talent in her daughter encouraged
her to join the track team and began to run with her to help
her train. "I praised her, thinking I was building up her
self-esteem, but never realized she hated (running) and was
only doing it for me," says the mother. When the girl began
adding extra miles and rapidly shedding weight her mother was
shocked to discover the response was a statement of how much
her daughter hated the pressure of the track meets. Some kids
have a natural drive to excel in sports, but if parents are
doing the pushing, they may need to stop and reassess.
5. YOU LOOK GREAT! HAVE YOU LOST
WEIGHT
Nearly all the teens said they got praise from family and friends
when they began restricting their food intake and dropping pounds.
"You can put up with how painfully cold you are all the
time," says 18 year old EK, "and you're so weak you
can't stand up. What you crave is the praise-and when that's
what you remember... even when it stops because you've gotten
too thin."
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